APPEARANCE AND PERSONAL HABITS
It is true that you don’t have to be prince charming and the dazzling princess to be happily married, and you don’t have to have the most beautiful face and physique to enjoy intimacy in your relationship. It is also true, however, that not bothering to take care of yourself physically and failing to use proper hygiene can communicate a lack of respect for your spouse and his or her needs.
Refusing to make the effort, for example, to exercise and eat properly, not only hurts your health and lowers your self-confidence, it also shows your spouse that you don’t necessarily care to meet a part of that person’s needs in your relationship and you take for granted his or her willingness to accept you the way you are.
Although it is important that you be willing to except one another for who you are deep down inside, it is also important that you show your appreciating for that person’s faithfulness to you in your relationship.
Below are some other problems involving personal habits that, if not dealt with, can lead to resentment, arguments, or at least a sense of neglect in marriage:
•Hygiene problems—not bothering to shower, comb your hair, use deodorant, etc.
•Choice of clothing—refusing to look for ways to improve your choice of clothing or not bothering to look your best for your spouse
•Personal habits—refusing to work on changing those things which you know annoy your spouse or that lead to regular arguments
•Driving skills—not paying attention to signs or directions or failing to drive safely
•Disorganization—not bothering to pick up after yourself or not making an attempt to keep your items and your area clean and organized
•Poor time management—habit of always being late or failing to allot the needed amount of time to complete daily responsibilities
•Nagging—this is usually a problem among women and involves constantly bringing up past failures or asking over and over for something to be done.
Although you may believe you have to do this to get your husband’s attention, you are, in reality, causing him to resent you and have less of a desire to do these things for you.
Loving your spouse enough to work on changing bad habits or improving your health and appearance is the key to overcoming many problems in marriage. Loving your spouse also means that you are willing to overlook some of these for the sake of harmony in your relationship or you are willing to be patient as he or she attempts to break bad habits.
Keep in mind that many of these habits have been developed and solidified over a long time and may take almost as long to break as they did to form. Try to look beyond the problem and focus on your spouse’s attempt to please you by overcoming these obstacles. Realizing that you have plenty of bad habits of your own helps to put the other person’s problem in perspective.