It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
All the department stores are aglow with holiday joy. NYC is experiencing record-breaking December warm weather. Donald Trump is proving to be a for-real monster instead of just a pretend one.
Ready or not, tonight brings us the next installment if the GOP “debates.” If you want to stream it, CNN has got you covered and, oh boy, it’s shaping up to be another two-hour flu medicine hallucination!
We’ve got nine candidates participating in the main event tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. EST. The Boy Who Cried Wolf of Wall Street is center stage yet again because our electorate has created a joke it’s somehow not in on. He’ll be flanked by a sleep-deprived liar and the kid who reminds the teacher about homework. George W. Bush’s somehow less-popular brother will be there doing his signature smile-wince, and Carly Fiorina will be enjoying her first audience in quite some time.
But don’t forget about the kids’ table! At 6 p.m. EST we’ve got the “early” debate, which is derived from the Olde English word “LOL.” We’ll get a reminder of what George Pataki looks like, and Lindsey Graham is bringing enough pearls for everybody to clutch. Mike Huckabee might as well bring his bass, because it’s pretty much Senior Skip Day and nobody here is graduating.
So you’re probably wondering, “how can I watch this with all of my loved ones gathered near?”
The GOP Debate will broadcast live on CNN, CNN en Español and CNN International. A live stream of the debates will available on the CNN homepage and mobile apps beginning at 5 p.m. EST. It could go as late as 11 p.m., but there are no confirmed reports of anyone successfully watching a whole debate without falling unconscious.
If you’re more of a shack-in-the-woods manifesto type, the Salem Radio Network will also air the debate over terrestrial airwaves.